Monday, September 29, 2008 11:53 PM
♥Nothing in particular
I had a tiff with R on Saturday.
It is the second time I fought (verbally) at dblo, and somehow both times involved R.
Things that we talked about. Words that we exchanged. Attitudes shown.
I am not waiting for him to come back. Not anymore.
But he is such a dear friend.
Someone whom will make me feel sad after a fight.
And I hate feeling this horrible.
To Kian, it doesn't matter what I say to you, because you already know what I want to say.
Thanks to Rui, for coming over to accompany me that night.
It was late, and it was boring.
I appreciated it loads.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008 2:11 AM
♥Overwhelming emo-ness
*Biionnggggg*
'Are you thinking what I am thinking B1?'
'I guess I am B2!'
"ITS EMO TIME!!"
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As the title suggest. Uninterested people can exit this page this very minute cos the following content is going to be nothing but emotional.
Seriously. I have no idea why I am feeling like this. Female mood swings I guess. Hormones changing. Whatever it is.
I hate feeling like this.
Because it makes me feel so alone and so small in a very big world. It makes me feel useless and every little thing may just trigger my craziness and I might turn nasty and bite.
I need to clear the questions in my head, in my heart.
I need certainty.
I need assurance.
I need answers.
Don't get me wrong. I am not referring to insurance plans, or any other related premium plans.
Just something that I am dying to know.
Something that will be enough to feed my empty soul.
I don't feel pain.
Neither do I feel blissful.
I just feel like a wondering soul, floating around, swaying to whichever direction the wind is blowing.
And this kind of feeling sucks totally.Labels: Rants
Sunday, September 21, 2008 4:23 AM
♥Doubts
Most of the time I love myself, because I feel that if I don't, then who else can?
But at times like now, I simply hate myself.
Hate myself for doing the things I did.
Hate myself for feeling the way I am feeling.
Please can someone tell me what I am doing?
And
apparently Edwin and
Kian have already analyzed the whole situation.
And I am feeling so much uncertainty.
And
apparently I asked for all of these.
I could have walked away carefree.
I did not.
I could have been living a life of freedom.
I chose not to.
I could have stopped thinking.
I couldn't.
Now, is it all too late to put a halt to all my uncertainties?
If you'd ask god one question, what would it be?When will I get some certainty? When will I find the right one who is willing to settle down with me?
Monday, September 15, 2008 1:46 AM
♥Mid Autumn Festival
Day 14 September Year 2008. I had the craziest mid autumn festival ever.
Was already anticipating the arrival of mid autumn festival the day before that I slept from 6pm till the next morning 9am.
Actually I was suffering from serious mental tiredness that I fell into a coma. Too much stress from work with cash discrepencies. :S
Woke up earlier to have breakfast with mummy. We had tim sum at Crystal Jade - Toa Payoh. Xueting, Weiting, my cousin and his wife joined too! After a sumptous breakfast, mummy and me went to cousin's place for their routine mahjong session. Didn win thou. Lousy luck.
Met up with Rui for supper. Super sweet for him to come down all the way. It is indeed very far. We went prata at Sembawang shopping centre. Only I ate thou, cos I didn have any dinner. Rui talked about Tiger Airways having promo @ $0.04 per pax which ends @ 0000hr, and somehow we decided to go for a trip!
Put 2 taurus babies together, and we get a trip to Phuket in half an hour! YES! We are going to Phuket! La la la~ How crazy does that sound? :D
Anyways, after we booked the tickets at my place, Rui decided he should get out of my place. So we went downstairs, and he asked very normally if I wanted to play lantern. -.-
Ok. So he packed lanterns, candles, a mooncake, a hot water flask, teabags, knife, lightsticks, and everything else in his bike.
We sat somewhere near my place and started to light up lanterns, cut the mooncake, make tea etc etc. Nice chilling out under the big round moon.
I didn expect any lanterns or candles this year, because our usual YOZ gang did not organise any (Prolly due to prior disagreement and dissatisfaction).
Thank you, for your surprise! Its a super duper memorable festival. :D
Rui's 3 words to describe the event:
Very very impromptu
Tuesday, September 02, 2008 8:00 PM
♥Is it really me?
It is pretty frustrating to always be the nice guy in life, to satisfy everyone's selfish desires.
Has the question 'How about ME?' popped into your head for even the slightest moment?
Recently I've got someone who has been getting on my nerves. I see this friend as a FRIEND. Not someone whom I can use and throw away.
To be very fair, I am always giving in, staying behind this friend of mine to boost the morale, to feed her confidence. Has it been too much morale and confidence that it became an ego-booster instead?
I am indeed complaining.
In our little friendship, have you ever stopped by to think how will I feel before you decided to do something? Have it ever crossed your mind why I did things that I did?
In my perspection, you are always doing things that YOU want, things that YOU feel like it. YOU put your perspection on me. YOU want me to live like how YOU want me to be. Sadly, I am who I am. I stand and live as an individual, and I am not at all like you.
I am getting tired of all these.
Just like a normal human being, I think I've reached my
line.
So I am just going to walk away, and leave you to be 'happy' in your little world.
Labels: Rants.
