Sunday, October 30, 2005 6:33 PM
♥
i have alot to type. but i don't have the mood now.
Lets just say one thing. DAMN that bus driver who drove bus number 811 (TIBS1221E)on 29th october at around 900pm.
will eleborate soon.
Lets just say one thing. DAMN that bus driver who drove bus number 811 (TIBS1221E)on 29th october at around 900pm.
will eleborate soon.
Thursday, October 27, 2005 4:47 PM
♥
AFTER some slacking and some short napping at the dream house, i am back at min's lab. getting bored again, but somehow 'recharged' probably due to the short nap. think i fell asleep for about 5 mins? but thats better then none. =)
Suddenly realised that i am getting to know min's friend abit well enough to stay in their company without min's presence. They are a bunch of nice peepz. Easy-going and fun to hang out with. At least i feel that i can trust them, if you know what i mean. =X
I suppose min's guy friends are better because its always the guys that are talking to me. few girls seemed to like me. except for Wai Mun. The rest seemed to be entertaining me, reluctant to speak a few more words with me. maybe you'll say that i am over-sensitive, or that they are shy. BUT they simply don't look like those people who'll freeze in front of strangers.
And in this case, i am their stranger.
will continue tonight. i am going off. to the dream house with min. =)
Suddenly realised that i am getting to know min's friend abit well enough to stay in their company without min's presence. They are a bunch of nice peepz. Easy-going and fun to hang out with. At least i feel that i can trust them, if you know what i mean. =X
I suppose min's guy friends are better because its always the guys that are talking to me. few girls seemed to like me. except for Wai Mun. The rest seemed to be entertaining me, reluctant to speak a few more words with me. maybe you'll say that i am over-sensitive, or that they are shy. BUT they simply don't look like those people who'll freeze in front of strangers.
And in this case, i am their stranger.
will continue tonight. i am going off. to the dream house with min. =)
3:07 PM
♥
These few weeks of boredom has set me thinking. How vulnerabe one can be, when there are no longer any particular aim in life. For example, if one day you find that you have absolutely no task left to complete in life, What are you going to do? Lie in bed the whole day? No. you will start to pace around the room, thinking of something to do. When you can find nothing, you'll become desperate. desperate to do ANYTHING at all. Like me.
Right now, i am sitting in min's project lab, typing my blog entry while my dear friend sits in the other row doing her project. mind you, i am not trying to complain that she is not keeping me company, but rather, i am trying to stress on the level of BOREDOM. I can do anything, i suppose, to keep myself from the daily routine of work --> home --> sleep --> dinner --> sleep.
And from my observations, people in this lab seemed to be as bored as me. Their faces show of sleepness. some are fancinated by something on the screen, and i strongly doubt its work. i guess most of the time we spent were wasted. Who can truely say that every minute of their life was WELL spent? almost noone. Maybe one or two in the millions of the citizen.
Anyway, this entry is totally redundant. Its because i have nothing better to do then to type crap into my blog. maybe i will blog again, when i have more inspiration to write better 'essay', or when i have nothing to do again.
For now, just let me lie down for a short nap. . .
Right now, i am sitting in min's project lab, typing my blog entry while my dear friend sits in the other row doing her project. mind you, i am not trying to complain that she is not keeping me company, but rather, i am trying to stress on the level of BOREDOM. I can do anything, i suppose, to keep myself from the daily routine of work --> home --> sleep --> dinner --> sleep.
And from my observations, people in this lab seemed to be as bored as me. Their faces show of sleepness. some are fancinated by something on the screen, and i strongly doubt its work. i guess most of the time we spent were wasted. Who can truely say that every minute of their life was WELL spent? almost noone. Maybe one or two in the millions of the citizen.
Anyway, this entry is totally redundant. Its because i have nothing better to do then to type crap into my blog. maybe i will blog again, when i have more inspiration to write better 'essay', or when i have nothing to do again.
For now, just let me lie down for a short nap. . .
Tuesday, October 25, 2005 10:36 PM
♥
i just finished my book: Princess by Jean Sasson.
Named as one of the best 500 bookswritten by women by the reader's guide for women's studies since year 1300, this book tells us the life of women living in Saudi Arabia.
Princess Sultana, the woman who want us to understand the plight of the woman in her country. Women borned unrecorded, and considered a shame, and died unrecorded and her grave unmarked (IF she is lucky to have a grave). Being a conservative country, women living in that land would have to veil and dress in black abbaya whenever they were outside. They are not allowed to drive, not allowed to talk to strangers(men), not allowed to show their faces to other men except for their immediate family, and family of her husband. Imagine you have to cover your WHOLE face when you are out in the streets. i don't think i can even breath, and talk about seeing clearly.
Also, according to the law there, the head of the family (usually a man) can decide on the punishment(usually death, or immediate marriage) should a woman did something to harm the family's reputation.
The men in Saudi Arabia can marry as many wives as possible as long as they are wealthy enough to support all of them, including the uncountable children they will produce. (women are not allowed to abort their babies as Saudi men want as many children (preferbly boys) as possible) and yet, women are not allowed to reject a marriage proposal, and most women as young as 14, 15 were married off to od men of age 50 or older. (girls who started their menses are considered as women and are ready for marriage and MUST veil) BUT, one thing good about this conservative country is that the husbands have to treat all the wives equally, so he have to rotate his nights among his wives. DUH
There are simply too much restrictions in the country, that many young girls, who had decided that they had waited long enough for the men to see their plight, tried to run away, to other countries ike London or America. But most of them were caught and were "punished" within the walls of the family.
The most cruel punishment i read in the book, is NOT immediate death, or even stoning. (Stoning is where the wrong-doer (females) kneel in front of a whole bunch of men, and they start throwing stones at her till a doctor pronouced her dead.) The worst, is being sentenced to 'the woman's room'. A special room on the top floor of the house will be prepared. A windowless padded cell. Insulation had been installed so that the cries of the one imprisoned could not be heard. A special door hung, with a bottom panel adjusted to serve as an entry for food. A hole in the floor had been built for disposal of body waste.
Imagine yourself in a world so sexist, so belittling your sex. I think i will die, to live under the 'protection' of these egoistic men. such unfairness. Other than that super big ego of the Saudi men, i cant think of other reasons to 'keep their women in check'. and mind you, women's words are not regarded as something of importance there. Imagine you are speaking and noone is paying any freaking attention to u?
Yea, that's how it feels.
Named as one of the best 500 bookswritten by women by the reader's guide for women's studies since year 1300, this book tells us the life of women living in Saudi Arabia.
Princess Sultana, the woman who want us to understand the plight of the woman in her country. Women borned unrecorded, and considered a shame, and died unrecorded and her grave unmarked (IF she is lucky to have a grave). Being a conservative country, women living in that land would have to veil and dress in black abbaya whenever they were outside. They are not allowed to drive, not allowed to talk to strangers(men), not allowed to show their faces to other men except for their immediate family, and family of her husband. Imagine you have to cover your WHOLE face when you are out in the streets. i don't think i can even breath, and talk about seeing clearly.
Also, according to the law there, the head of the family (usually a man) can decide on the punishment(usually death, or immediate marriage) should a woman did something to harm the family's reputation.
The men in Saudi Arabia can marry as many wives as possible as long as they are wealthy enough to support all of them, including the uncountable children they will produce. (women are not allowed to abort their babies as Saudi men want as many children (preferbly boys) as possible) and yet, women are not allowed to reject a marriage proposal, and most women as young as 14, 15 were married off to od men of age 50 or older. (girls who started their menses are considered as women and are ready for marriage and MUST veil) BUT, one thing good about this conservative country is that the husbands have to treat all the wives equally, so he have to rotate his nights among his wives. DUH
There are simply too much restrictions in the country, that many young girls, who had decided that they had waited long enough for the men to see their plight, tried to run away, to other countries ike London or America. But most of them were caught and were "punished" within the walls of the family.
The most cruel punishment i read in the book, is NOT immediate death, or even stoning. (Stoning is where the wrong-doer (females) kneel in front of a whole bunch of men, and they start throwing stones at her till a doctor pronouced her dead.) The worst, is being sentenced to 'the woman's room'. A special room on the top floor of the house will be prepared. A windowless padded cell. Insulation had been installed so that the cries of the one imprisoned could not be heard. A special door hung, with a bottom panel adjusted to serve as an entry for food. A hole in the floor had been built for disposal of body waste.
Imagine yourself in a world so sexist, so belittling your sex. I think i will die, to live under the 'protection' of these egoistic men. such unfairness. Other than that super big ego of the Saudi men, i cant think of other reasons to 'keep their women in check'. and mind you, women's words are not regarded as something of importance there. Imagine you are speaking and noone is paying any freaking attention to u?
Yea, that's how it feels.
12:49 AM
♥
H.U.M.A.N.S
we are a very weird species. We sigh when we are left with no choice. We sigh too, when we are presented with too many choices. We are unsatisfied with our present, always wanting more. When we have more, we stuck ourselves right in dilema, wondering which one is better: old or new?
Just like when you were given a new hp. you will automatically compare the functions with your old phone, and when you find that both have their own special functions, you will be stucked in between the old and the new.
yucks.
I hate this feeling. especially when you see your buddies all entangled in complicated matters. part of me feels lucky that i do not have this type of problem. but another part of me wish to have this type of attention as well.
I think i am definately going crazy. to have this type of thinkings, i must be out of my mind.
*me shakes head and walk off*
we are a very weird species. We sigh when we are left with no choice. We sigh too, when we are presented with too many choices. We are unsatisfied with our present, always wanting more. When we have more, we stuck ourselves right in dilema, wondering which one is better: old or new?
Just like when you were given a new hp. you will automatically compare the functions with your old phone, and when you find that both have their own special functions, you will be stucked in between the old and the new.
yucks.
I hate this feeling. especially when you see your buddies all entangled in complicated matters. part of me feels lucky that i do not have this type of problem. but another part of me wish to have this type of attention as well.
I think i am definately going crazy. to have this type of thinkings, i must be out of my mind.
*me shakes head and walk off*
Sunday, October 23, 2005 11:19 PM
♥
went swimming today with min at yishun safra. =D all thanks to kian that we've got the member's card. but still have to pay like $6+ (for 2) for admission. o.0 much more expensive then the public pool, but definately worth the money, especially the hot water bath after the swim. we stayed in the pool for about 2 hours. talked for quite abit. actually we chatted about almost everything. its jus so comfortable to soak in the water, enjoying the nice warm sun, and do nothing but just talk.
after that we went to somewhere near city hall, cos i wanna look at a particular thingy for robin's bday gift. found that, but it was abit too expensive, so i called francios and asked if he wanna chip in as well. :x and he said okie! so i went ahead and bought it. while i was shopping, something caught my eye as well. :P although the design is the same, but i think robin will not mind. (anyway that's the only design that i think is nice) :D
then we took bus number 100 back to the mrt station. but because we were not familiar with that area, we missed the stop. ended up right in front of lau pa sat, so we decided to just settle our dinner there. ordered stingray, kangkong, dumplings and satay. people around us must be shocked to see 2 girls eating so much food. :D and we finished everything! we remembered to take pictures of the food when we were halfway through, so all the pictures looked half eaten. dun be surprised! =D
recognise the interior?
show you another picture of the place
the half eaten stingray
S.A.T.A.Y!!
and of cos, jia jia liang teh! =D
and thats min and me looking so satisfied after food
went home early today. had fun and enjoyed good food. this is another great day! =D have to work tomorrow, so i think i better sleep early. else i cant wake up tml. 0.0
after that we went to somewhere near city hall, cos i wanna look at a particular thingy for robin's bday gift. found that, but it was abit too expensive, so i called francios and asked if he wanna chip in as well. :x and he said okie! so i went ahead and bought it. while i was shopping, something caught my eye as well. :P although the design is the same, but i think robin will not mind. (anyway that's the only design that i think is nice) :D
then we took bus number 100 back to the mrt station. but because we were not familiar with that area, we missed the stop. ended up right in front of lau pa sat, so we decided to just settle our dinner there. ordered stingray, kangkong, dumplings and satay. people around us must be shocked to see 2 girls eating so much food. :D and we finished everything! we remembered to take pictures of the food when we were halfway through, so all the pictures looked half eaten. dun be surprised! =D
recognise the interior?
show you another picture of the place
the half eaten stingray
S.A.T.A.Y!!
and of cos, jia jia liang teh! =D
and thats min and me looking so satisfied after food
went home early today. had fun and enjoyed good food. this is another great day! =D have to work tomorrow, so i think i better sleep early. else i cant wake up tml. 0.0
1:21 AM
♥
i was just chatting with robin on msn when we came upon the topic on boy-girl relationship.
in this world, where only men and women exist, how many actually remember their first love, or in this case, their innocent love? i remembered mine.
He is one special guy who will make me smile when memories of the past came flooding into my mind. Years had passed, my memory deteriorating. But i remembered flashes of those happy, and innocent moments. His fav drink, his class, his fav sport etc. he was my first boyfriend. The first guy who held my hands, who showered me with concern, who chatted with me on the phone for hours.
I was only 13 then, but i felt so in love that i was frightened. (maybe because i was inexperienced) but back then, i was an uncontrollable kid. wilful, hot tempered, u name it. we had such sweet moments, and we never fought about anything. at least not that i remember of. (if there were fights, its only of small issues, nothing worth remembering. and most probably is cos of me)
we kept our r/s nice and happy, until my parents decided that it was time to move to a new environment. then, my stupidness got the better of me, and i actually broke off with him. with the excuse that it is too far away for us to maintain the r/s. (my mum don't allow me to go out everyday at that time, so its difficult to meet up and stuff)
its stupid.
throughout the years, we kept in contact, although until now, its usually me who contacted him, asking how he was and stuff. But, i am glad, for he stays a friend, and in my memories.
That, is the short story of my innocent love. Now, as i grow up, my opinion and expectations for love changed. with more and more exposure to the hard, cruel society, i had grown to be much more practical. long forgotten were the dreamy, fairytale love, where your prince charming come to your side, galloping on a white horse, and kissing you awake. to hell with prince charming. who says that the princess will always be happy after the prince picked her up and they get married? noone will talk about the princess. people are only interested in the handsome prince anyway.
so, what is considered love in the practical world? a guy who loves you more then you love him? NO. love in the real world is a guy who is relatively handsome, has a stable job, earns enough to support you and your extravagant spendings, a posh car, and a comfotable private apartment. with these on hand, who needs love? well, that's reality.
clearly, i know all these, but a small part inside of me is yearning for the fairytale love. who doesn't? but it is so hard to turn back when your thinkings are so used to the practical side that sometimes you find yourself stupid.
No? i do.
in this world, where only men and women exist, how many actually remember their first love, or in this case, their innocent love? i remembered mine.
He is one special guy who will make me smile when memories of the past came flooding into my mind. Years had passed, my memory deteriorating. But i remembered flashes of those happy, and innocent moments. His fav drink, his class, his fav sport etc. he was my first boyfriend. The first guy who held my hands, who showered me with concern, who chatted with me on the phone for hours.
I was only 13 then, but i felt so in love that i was frightened. (maybe because i was inexperienced) but back then, i was an uncontrollable kid. wilful, hot tempered, u name it. we had such sweet moments, and we never fought about anything. at least not that i remember of. (if there were fights, its only of small issues, nothing worth remembering. and most probably is cos of me)
we kept our r/s nice and happy, until my parents decided that it was time to move to a new environment. then, my stupidness got the better of me, and i actually broke off with him. with the excuse that it is too far away for us to maintain the r/s. (my mum don't allow me to go out everyday at that time, so its difficult to meet up and stuff)
its stupid.
throughout the years, we kept in contact, although until now, its usually me who contacted him, asking how he was and stuff. But, i am glad, for he stays a friend, and in my memories.
That, is the short story of my innocent love. Now, as i grow up, my opinion and expectations for love changed. with more and more exposure to the hard, cruel society, i had grown to be much more practical. long forgotten were the dreamy, fairytale love, where your prince charming come to your side, galloping on a white horse, and kissing you awake. to hell with prince charming. who says that the princess will always be happy after the prince picked her up and they get married? noone will talk about the princess. people are only interested in the handsome prince anyway.
so, what is considered love in the practical world? a guy who loves you more then you love him? NO. love in the real world is a guy who is relatively handsome, has a stable job, earns enough to support you and your extravagant spendings, a posh car, and a comfotable private apartment. with these on hand, who needs love? well, that's reality.
clearly, i know all these, but a small part inside of me is yearning for the fairytale love. who doesn't? but it is so hard to turn back when your thinkings are so used to the practical side that sometimes you find yourself stupid.
No? i do.
Friday, October 21, 2005 10:59 PM
♥
i had a great time today. especially after enduring such a boring and life-less holiday.
let me start from the morning.
met jingyi (my colllegue) at sembawang mrt @ 700am to help her carry her stuffs. she made almond jelly today. so nice! and of course, today is the freaking first time that i reached my work place early. and i am proud of it.
work work work. THEN! in a flash of eye(its a busy day, so time passes very fast), its 1230pm! time to go home! and i waited for dahong to reach the polyclinic b4 going off. =D
went swimming with dahong @ jurong swimming complex. talk about swimming. we practically fought for the whole hour(we swam for abt 1 hour cos dahong had to work)! its so violent. went kfc for lunch, and after that i went to look for min @ SP.
followed her around the school, saw the dreamhouse she was talking about. quite nice. totally like a home. :P saw the lengedary yingming today. he wasn't anything that i imagined from min's description. he was actually quite okie. den they played bball. i joined in too. at first was abit paiseh. but later warm up already then get into the game. quite fun la, but i ran around with no shoes, cos i was wearing slippers, and it keep dropping. lol. and i sort of hurt my fingers, and my toes. not serious injuries thou. jus some pain when i press into the part. think it will be okie tomorrow. =D
we went to holland.v for dinner after that. ate the famous XO fish head beehoon(w/o XO) and fried rice. talk about food, and my stomach is growling again. :x
oh yea. and to upload some pictures for u guys to see. my entries had gone too long without new pictures for updates. :D
a BIG plate of cream of mushroom @ pasta cafe with min
plus...
fantastic potato salad
and...
min's honey glazed chicken
and not forgetting...
my pasta!!
well. so much for food in this entry! will try not to be lazy and post more pictures in the up-coming entries! =D
let me start from the morning.
met jingyi (my colllegue) at sembawang mrt @ 700am to help her carry her stuffs. she made almond jelly today. so nice! and of course, today is the freaking first time that i reached my work place early. and i am proud of it.
work work work. THEN! in a flash of eye(its a busy day, so time passes very fast), its 1230pm! time to go home! and i waited for dahong to reach the polyclinic b4 going off. =D
went swimming with dahong @ jurong swimming complex. talk about swimming. we practically fought for the whole hour(we swam for abt 1 hour cos dahong had to work)! its so violent. went kfc for lunch, and after that i went to look for min @ SP.
followed her around the school, saw the dreamhouse she was talking about. quite nice. totally like a home. :P saw the lengedary yingming today. he wasn't anything that i imagined from min's description. he was actually quite okie. den they played bball. i joined in too. at first was abit paiseh. but later warm up already then get into the game. quite fun la, but i ran around with no shoes, cos i was wearing slippers, and it keep dropping. lol. and i sort of hurt my fingers, and my toes. not serious injuries thou. jus some pain when i press into the part. think it will be okie tomorrow. =D
we went to holland.v for dinner after that. ate the famous XO fish head beehoon(w/o XO) and fried rice. talk about food, and my stomach is growling again. :x
oh yea. and to upload some pictures for u guys to see. my entries had gone too long without new pictures for updates. :D
a BIG plate of cream of mushroom @ pasta cafe with min
plus...
fantastic potato salad
and...
min's honey glazed chicken
and not forgetting...
my pasta!!
well. so much for food in this entry! will try not to be lazy and post more pictures in the up-coming entries! =D
Wednesday, October 19, 2005 11:56 PM
♥
today WAS supposed to be movies day with es in the evening.
talk about desperate.
i am desperate for some sleep, some entertainment, and somthing other than work.
but alas! the more you want something, the more you don't get it.
its JUST so ironic that ES's boss called to ask him to standby for work in the evening, and at the same time, mine called to ask if i could work today.
and so, ES called to bring forward our outing. and so, we caught the afternoon 3:25
pm show at cathay. the show was April Snow by Bei yong jun.
it is boring.
and i had lost count of the times i yawned in the theatre.
(its just to show how boring the show is)
after sitting through a boring show with a weird ending, i headed down to toa payoh HDB hub for work and ES went bugis to shop for a birthday gift for kailing with his friends while "stand-bying" for work. and to think i was practically dragging myself to work! and i did not bring my tee-shirt. saw my collegue daniel when i reached the office, and felt abit comforted. at least i don't have to brace myself up to entertain my collegue. (some of us do not have the same frequency)
self-entertained myself throughout work today with daniel and jeremy. both of them treated me very good. daniel gave me food, and jeremy bought me jiajia liang teh. :D just that the stupid jeremy slacked for the whole of the night, slowly do his stuff, slowly buy his food. i wanna complain ar! *slap him*
anyway, one thing good today is that we finished early today.
whatever. i don't feel like typing anymore.
*me walks away*
talk about desperate.
i am desperate for some sleep, some entertainment, and somthing other than work.
but alas! the more you want something, the more you don't get it.
its JUST so ironic that ES's boss called to ask him to standby for work in the evening, and at the same time, mine called to ask if i could work today.
and so, ES called to bring forward our outing. and so, we caught the afternoon 3:25
pm show at cathay. the show was April Snow by Bei yong jun.
it is boring.
and i had lost count of the times i yawned in the theatre.
(its just to show how boring the show is)
after sitting through a boring show with a weird ending, i headed down to toa payoh HDB hub for work and ES went bugis to shop for a birthday gift for kailing with his friends while "stand-bying" for work. and to think i was practically dragging myself to work! and i did not bring my tee-shirt. saw my collegue daniel when i reached the office, and felt abit comforted. at least i don't have to brace myself up to entertain my collegue. (some of us do not have the same frequency)
self-entertained myself throughout work today with daniel and jeremy. both of them treated me very good. daniel gave me food, and jeremy bought me jiajia liang teh. :D just that the stupid jeremy slacked for the whole of the night, slowly do his stuff, slowly buy his food. i wanna complain ar! *slap him*
anyway, one thing good today is that we finished early today.
whatever. i don't feel like typing anymore.
*me walks away*
12:40 AM
♥
i don't know what i want anymore. my mind is in such a mess that even I don't know how to clear, much less anybody.
everyday after work i will think what i am suppose to do when i get home. it makes me feel sick to realise that it is another lonely afternoon where i get to eat my lunch alone. and what is worse, is that i do nothing but sleep when i got home. it is because i am tired. but a bigger portion of it, is because i don't know what to do. or should i say, that i cant think of something better to do?
my life is getting more and more and more aimless. and i feel that my life is soooo empty. how i wish school will start sooner, and my work will end earlier. at least when school starts, i will feel much much better. with my classmates around, crapping, rushing for classes, having lunch together. it sound a dozen times better than what i am going through now. at least it won't be that boring. o.0
maybe i will go for a swim on thursday.
well, it just shows how unsatisfied i am with my plain and boring life. maybe i am going crazy.
*me falls into depression*
everyday after work i will think what i am suppose to do when i get home. it makes me feel sick to realise that it is another lonely afternoon where i get to eat my lunch alone. and what is worse, is that i do nothing but sleep when i got home. it is because i am tired. but a bigger portion of it, is because i don't know what to do. or should i say, that i cant think of something better to do?
my life is getting more and more and more aimless. and i feel that my life is soooo empty. how i wish school will start sooner, and my work will end earlier. at least when school starts, i will feel much much better. with my classmates around, crapping, rushing for classes, having lunch together. it sound a dozen times better than what i am going through now. at least it won't be that boring. o.0
maybe i will go for a swim on thursday.
well, it just shows how unsatisfied i am with my plain and boring life. maybe i am going crazy.
*me falls into depression*
Saturday, October 15, 2005 12:04 AM
♥
conclusion: i think i m in need of a boyfriend.
BUT I DON'T WANNA GET INVOLVED IN ANY RELATIONSHIPS NOW!
r/s are jus simply soooo complicated.
anywhere that i can find someone with no strings attached?
like, when i m free i go find him. den mayb he can cheer me up abit, den when we go out can look like we pator abit, can hold hands and hug all those. but nothing to do wif those complicated emotions?
argh!
think i might as well get a gigglo or some one night stand.
think that will be more convenient huh?
and to think that i once had a guy like this.
but he wanted something more from me.
and i ended up alone.
now.
think its stupid to want something so shallow huh?
whatever.
/me going crazy
BUT I DON'T WANNA GET INVOLVED IN ANY RELATIONSHIPS NOW!
r/s are jus simply soooo complicated.
anywhere that i can find someone with no strings attached?
like, when i m free i go find him. den mayb he can cheer me up abit, den when we go out can look like we pator abit, can hold hands and hug all those. but nothing to do wif those complicated emotions?
argh!
think i might as well get a gigglo or some one night stand.
think that will be more convenient huh?
and to think that i once had a guy like this.
but he wanted something more from me.
and i ended up alone.
now.
think its stupid to want something so shallow huh?
whatever.
/me going crazy
Friday, October 14, 2005 11:37 PM
♥
i dunno wad to say. like i have alot of things to complain abt, but i also dunno where to start, or even how to start.
sometimes i feel like i am so retundant in this world. like there is nothing that needs me to be here.
sometimes i feel so alone, especially when i cant even find a single soul to accompany me out.
my social circle is so small.
my life, so empty.
i feel so weak inside. so lonely, so small.
i guess i am really tired. of everything.
mentally and physically.
i NEED attention.
i NEED play.
and everyone, including myself, is busy wif our own lives.
no time, no money to play.
and sometimes it makes me feel sick to even have to THINK of who i should ask to go out.
cos i am a boring person
with a boring life.
and i am SICK of this life.
i want something different.
something that will make me feel like its worth living on earth.
who can help me?
argh!!!!!
/me frustrated
sometimes i feel like i am so retundant in this world. like there is nothing that needs me to be here.
sometimes i feel so alone, especially when i cant even find a single soul to accompany me out.
my social circle is so small.
my life, so empty.
i feel so weak inside. so lonely, so small.
i guess i am really tired. of everything.
mentally and physically.
i NEED attention.
i NEED play.
and everyone, including myself, is busy wif our own lives.
no time, no money to play.
and sometimes it makes me feel sick to even have to THINK of who i should ask to go out.
cos i am a boring person
with a boring life.
and i am SICK of this life.
i want something different.
something that will make me feel like its worth living on earth.
who can help me?
argh!!!!!
/me frustrated
Thursday, October 13, 2005 12:29 AM
♥
i think i am going to be sick. mentally and physically. really don't feel like going for work tomorrow. maybe i will call in sick. 0.0
anyway, i came across xiaxue's blog during work today. read a few entries of it. and i freaking cannot believe she is so self centered, and so proud of herself. well, maybe she has the qualities to flaunt her beauty, but cant she do that in a better way? it makes me sick to read her entries, especially one on make-up. yucks.
and yes, i dun like her.
/me pukes
anyway, i came across xiaxue's blog during work today. read a few entries of it. and i freaking cannot believe she is so self centered, and so proud of herself. well, maybe she has the qualities to flaunt her beauty, but cant she do that in a better way? it makes me sick to read her entries, especially one on make-up. yucks.
and yes, i dun like her.
/me pukes
Monday, October 10, 2005 11:53 PM
♥
I am the guy that will come home from work and ask how your day was
I am the guy that will help with the dishes after eating dinner
I am the guy that will stay up late and watch movies with you
I am the guy that will get up with the kids so you can sleep in
I am the guy that will hold you to feel your heart beat with mine
I am the guy that will tell bad jokes just to hear you laugh
I am the guy that will always be by your side no matter what
I am the guy that will do the little things that matter to you
I am the guy that will push you to your limits
I am the guy that will hold your hair out of your face when you are sick
I am the guy that will kill the spiders before they crawl on you
I am the guy that will call you from work just to hear your voice
I am the guy that will be there every night when you go to bed and there every morning when you wake up
I am the guy that will kiss you in the morning before leaving to work
I am the guy that will show you how much I love you
saw this passage in friendster. actually, who will not want this type of guys? lol.. there when u need them, there where u want them to be?
but then, for all these moments of sweetness, you have to sacrifice something. your freedom. your time and energy. all these precious must be given up in order to keep this guy right beside you. and soon, you will feel that all that sweetness is sucking all your youth and energy from you, and that's when all the problems occurs.
god.
it sound sad huh?
mayb. but that's my opinion of how a perfect partner would be. especially when he is there with you almost 24 hrs. from the moment u wake up, and receiving his calls when u r at work, and even till that moment b4 u fall aslp. it is just too much for me. at least for now. i dunno abt the future. or mayb i jus haven find that guy yet. that particular guy for me to spend my every moment with.
i dunno.
anyway! back to today.
today we have a new night ic at propnex. her name is noriah. she is not too bad. :D nice girl to chat wif. and there is another permanent temp staff, doris. this doris, is basically nice, but think got age gap wif us la. and plus, i dunno why they wanna hire a permanent tempt staff. are they going to schedule us on lesser days, or are they going to add another person to help out at night? its worrying.. bout how things might be in the near future. mayb after they trained doris, they might sack me or someone else. cos by then they will have too many temp staff. huh? or mayb they will schedule us lesser. so nx time, instead of working 2 days per week, i might b working only one day per week. and that means 24 bucks per week. and i can eat grass already.
oh well. no use worrying huh? cos i cant do anythn except for praying.
and pray for my results.
i hope i can increase my average. at least to a 2.5 and above. at least must increase a 0.1, if not i think there is nothing to b proud of even if i got any As or Bs. argh! i m stressing myself. gosh!
that's all for now. no mood to upload any pics. jus wanna type and type and type. hope this entry did not bore u, cos i m feeling super bored now.
0.0
I am the guy that will help with the dishes after eating dinner
I am the guy that will stay up late and watch movies with you
I am the guy that will get up with the kids so you can sleep in
I am the guy that will hold you to feel your heart beat with mine
I am the guy that will tell bad jokes just to hear you laugh
I am the guy that will always be by your side no matter what
I am the guy that will do the little things that matter to you
I am the guy that will push you to your limits
I am the guy that will hold your hair out of your face when you are sick
I am the guy that will kill the spiders before they crawl on you
I am the guy that will call you from work just to hear your voice
I am the guy that will be there every night when you go to bed and there every morning when you wake up
I am the guy that will kiss you in the morning before leaving to work
I am the guy that will show you how much I love you
saw this passage in friendster. actually, who will not want this type of guys? lol.. there when u need them, there where u want them to be?
but then, for all these moments of sweetness, you have to sacrifice something. your freedom. your time and energy. all these precious must be given up in order to keep this guy right beside you. and soon, you will feel that all that sweetness is sucking all your youth and energy from you, and that's when all the problems occurs.
god.
it sound sad huh?
mayb. but that's my opinion of how a perfect partner would be. especially when he is there with you almost 24 hrs. from the moment u wake up, and receiving his calls when u r at work, and even till that moment b4 u fall aslp. it is just too much for me. at least for now. i dunno abt the future. or mayb i jus haven find that guy yet. that particular guy for me to spend my every moment with.
i dunno.
anyway! back to today.
today we have a new night ic at propnex. her name is noriah. she is not too bad. :D nice girl to chat wif. and there is another permanent temp staff, doris. this doris, is basically nice, but think got age gap wif us la. and plus, i dunno why they wanna hire a permanent tempt staff. are they going to schedule us on lesser days, or are they going to add another person to help out at night? its worrying.. bout how things might be in the near future. mayb after they trained doris, they might sack me or someone else. cos by then they will have too many temp staff. huh? or mayb they will schedule us lesser. so nx time, instead of working 2 days per week, i might b working only one day per week. and that means 24 bucks per week. and i can eat grass already.
oh well. no use worrying huh? cos i cant do anythn except for praying.
and pray for my results.
i hope i can increase my average. at least to a 2.5 and above. at least must increase a 0.1, if not i think there is nothing to b proud of even if i got any As or Bs. argh! i m stressing myself. gosh!
that's all for now. no mood to upload any pics. jus wanna type and type and type. hope this entry did not bore u, cos i m feeling super bored now.
0.0
Sunday, October 09, 2005 12:59 AM
♥
i don't know what i am feeling now.
so confused.
so much feelings at the same time.
so complicated.
argh!
so vexed!
and feeling so restless.
feel that my life is so boring.
so freaking boring.
/me dies
so confused.
so much feelings at the same time.
so complicated.
argh!
so vexed!
and feeling so restless.
feel that my life is so boring.
so freaking boring.
/me dies
Friday, October 07, 2005 12:40 AM
♥
I am freaking tired.
and i hate the auntie at the plolyclinic.
will elaborate more in the nx entry, when i hav the energy.
now is time to slp.
Nighty people!
=D
and i hate the auntie at the plolyclinic.
will elaborate more in the nx entry, when i hav the energy.
now is time to slp.
Nighty people!
=D
